I am sitting at starbucks.. thinking...

I have spent the better of the past 4 hours working on schoolwork at the wifi available starbucks. Quantitive Mathmatics is starting to burn a hole in my screen and in my head... so time to people watch for a bit.

A couple sits next to me.
20 ish.. definitly a "couple" because they are squabbling like they have been married for years.
He wants to sit outside, she wants to sit inside.
He says no- "it is too hot inside", she says "sit down, be still you will be fine for a few minutes. "
He sits, not still.
HE takes cigaretts out of his pocket, slams them on the table,apparently trying to make a point.
They stare at each other, not loving glances.
In no less than two minutes he gets up and leaves.
She.. duitifully or ingnorantly... follows.


So- I wonder.
Why are they together.
Does she like to be treated like this?
Does he like to treat her like this?
Do they like treating eachother like this?
Do they accept being treated like this?
Is the sex good? that is why they are together?
what is the reason?
what was my reason?
I felt too old!
when I settled
I felt like I would not get any better..
so I settled
I thought monetary provision was important
so I settled

I am so thankful (today the day after thanksgiving)
that I will not settle...
I have expectations, I will not settle less for
I have non-negotiables, I will not alter for
I have hopes and dreams, I will not alow to be squashed for
I will be admired, adored and appreciated, I will not settle for
I will be playful, mischevious, and hopeful, I will not settle for

My first love will be GOD. He will continue to praise my worthiness, my ability, provide his joy, love his beautiful child, and provide for me as long as I continue to talk to Him and love Him and listen to Him. As I continue to chose His will, and not the sins of the flesh, or of the world He will show me more than I can imagine!

I will be alone for as long as it takes for the right person to come into my life, join my life, enhance our lives and we both earn the right to create a life together.

God bless the longing in my heart for an amazing relationship with a man, the right timeing for that man, and acceptance of it being of your will, and desire to create a new, blended, healthy Godly family.
AMEN