WHY?!?

Why does his choices effect us so?
Why did he make the choice to not fight for us?
Why were we not worth fighting for?
Why is he a coward, taking the easy way out?
Why did he choose to leave?

Why does he get to leave?
to live single
to live at the beach
to work and play at his whim
to travel and golf and more
to send gifts in the mail
to speak bubblegum words on the phone
to make promises fit for a princess
to have all the fun and no discipline

Why does he get to take for years then leave?
to leave me with age and less time
to leave me with low pay, low time, and low education
to leave with a house to sell
a child to raise
a degree to earn
to judge me?

Why does he get to leave, but I still have to
depend on him for money
get his "approval" to pay for school
ask him to pay for doctors appts

Why can't he just leave, and be gone?
why must we have to talk
why must I explain why he can't visit
why must I explain why he left
why must I explain why we could not go
why must he continue to give her false hope

Why do I still let him effect me this way?
Why can't I just not care?

When can I be strong... always?
When can I move on financially?
When can I move out of his house?
When can I stop crying?
When can I be brave... always?