Can I rescue the Princess?

Originally written Saturday, October 25, 2008
5:57:44 PM

Can I rescue the princess?
This past week my anxiety has been very hightened. I have been so concerned about the next level when we bring Alana into the journey of divorce. I have been so angry with Bobby for how he is handling this. I have been angry with myself for not seeing the signs earlier, maybe for not trying hard enough. I am soad that I can not rescue Alana and spare her of the hurt, the pain, the abandonment, the isolation.
I remember asking Bobby a few times over the past few years... Please love Alana as much in the future as much as you love her today. My daddy was the world to me until one undefined day in sixth grade shen I was not longer his little girl. I seemingly became a source of his frustration, disappointment, unmet expectations and overall disgust. I have spent the past 27+ years trying to get his approval. I do not want Alana to have that with her daddy.
Now- is she going to follow the same cycle if he does not live with us, if he does not respect schedules, if he does not respect me, if he does not respect boundries... I don't know how to work through this part of the cycle. I just want to burst out in tears!!!
I want to kick his ass.
I want to rescue my little princess.

Last night we told Alana.
Well Bobby told Alana that he would be moving out so he and I do not fight as much anymore. He did a really awsoem jobe making sure she knows he loves her, no matter what. She was very intriqued with his new appartment. He promised her new things for the place, so that is new and exciting and right on to her love language of gifts. The night was pretty uneventful. Her biggest questions was after Bobby told her he would love her no matter where he lives. She asked if he would still love her if he moves to Los Angeles.(side note: He said of course, then that she would have to visit him ther for the summer. NO WAY JOSE!!! She is NOT going to loose the tradition of going to Maine in the summer!)
I think that this is the calm before the storm. Maybe it will be a big tornado of emotion in a week or so, maybe there will be little bursts of storms among the weeks. All I know to be true is God will be there for us. I will be there for Alana. I will love her through this. I will protect her the best I know how. I will try to parent her the best I can with the appropriate boundries and lots and lots of love.
Pray for each of us!